


Idiot

by BrittaR (Taaya)



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Drinking, F/M, Pining, mild swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 05:18:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16111646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taaya/pseuds/BrittaR
Summary: While Rose and Mickey are off, enjoying a night at the cinema, the Doctor has a drink. One that makes him talk about stuff he really never wanted to talk about.Oneshot.





	Idiot

The Doctor sat on his chair and hung his head low. He had no idea what it was that made him feel so utterly sad and emotionally exhausted.  
He always felt worse than usual when Rose was off without him, as he could no longer drown his own thoughts in a flurry of adventure or at least playful banter. When Rose was with him, his mind was always at least partially focused on her and that was enough to keep the dark thoughts at bay.

But now she‘d gone to this cinema with Mickey. She had begged him to join them, sure. But after the events of the last days, seeing Sarah Jane age that much, and losing a woman he had adored ever since he read his first human history book, knowing that he could do nothing to save her without changing history, had left him exhausted.

And he knew, movies on their current vacation destination, a beautiful planet called RothmaGar, were too bright, too funny, too all absorbing for his current state of mind. He would have spoiled the fun, so he‘d told them that they’d meet in the morning.

But he wasn’t tired enough to go back to their hotel either, so he had just followed his feet and finally found himself in a comfortable looking, clean bar. Not a shady hole for the creatures of twilight, but a nice place where the people of the planet and their interstellar guests liked to come to get a nice cocktail before heading off into the night.

And now he felt a bit tipsy. While alcohol only had an effect on him if he accepted and wanted it, whatever was put into his cocktail really worked. It made him talkative - well, more than usual.

„There’s this blonde girl I travel with, you see?“, he told the bartender slowly, tasting the words in his mouth before speaking. „And I … I really like her. But her age span is so small. In a blink of an eye she’ll be dead.”

“And that bothers you”, the bartender observed. 

“Of course it does! How can I tell her that I … like her, when we have mere minutes before it’ll be over? But if I don’t tell her, she might be gone, too. Off to somebody else who can give her what she wants. Needs. But if I let her in, and she dies … it will hurt. So badly. I don’t know if I can bear it.” 

“Mate, you’re an idiot”, the bartender said. 

Offended the Doctor looked up to the man. “I doubt it’s your job to insult your customers. Aren’t you there to listen to them and then shut it?”

“Not my style. Sure, if you were a guy whining about something unimportant or … suffering from how bad the world is, I might shut my mouth. But you, sir, are a huge idiot. Your problem can be solved.” 

“Can it?” The Doctor’s voice got a little more squeaky than he had planned. But he really could not see any solution to his dilemma. He had thought about it for … well, a long time. Ever since that Dalek made him think about his feelings. That not only seemed to be a lifetime ago, it actually was.

“Yeah, sure. All you need is a little perspective. Life is short. Life is fatal in the end, to everyone. And you’ll never know what will happen. You can find the love of your life only to watch her being hit by a car minutes later. You can build up a life together and die of stroke or cancer or any other disease way before time. It’s not just you who has to face the cruelty of not knowing the future but at the same time knowing about mortality. Knowing that things will end someday and that one partner will have to live with the pain of having lost the other. We all bear this. And we all know it in advance, on a subconscious level. But that doesn’t stop us. But answer me this: If she’d die right now, would it hurt?” 

“Yeah.” The Doctor now stared into his glass. Thoughts were running through his head too fast to grasp them.

“Would it hurt so badly, that it would be hard to bear?”

“Of course.” 

“See? You already love her. It doesn’t matter if you act upon it or not. The pain will be the same. Because ignoring your feelings won’t make them go away. That’s why we all act upon them. If we have to face the pain anyway, it’s better to mix it with the good memories of spending a wonderful time together.”

“But what if she dies and I’ll have to live millennia without her?” 

“Then you will have the memories of how much she loved you. Well, if she does. That is the one problem I can’t help you with.” 

A sad smile appeared. “Oh, she does. I know. And I guess she knows I know.” 

“See? And who knows? Maybe she’ll live a long life with you? Science is advancing so fast. You’ll never know.” 

Pensively the Doctor nodded. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I am an idiot.” 

“An idiot who needs to sober up and find his girl”, the bartender said, handing the Time Lord a glass of green liquid. 

“What’s that?”   
“Counteractive against your first drink. On the house. Now drink up and get your sad arse out of here, Your pining is making the other customers sad.”


End file.
